i've officially been slapped in the face with chinese culture

Today in my 6th grade non-native English class, I spent the class period teaching the students the new vocabulary words for the week. This is usually a harmless activity which takes up an entire class period, usually on Monday or Tuesday. I like vocabulary day.

Today, however, was different. The class was going a little bit crazy and from the very first word ("reward") I could tell it was gonna be an off-day. Somehow I ended up drawing a Wanted posted on the board with one of my very silly students names on it, advertising a reward for his capture. The kids laughed.

So a few words later, we got to "cavity." I explained what a cavity is, how it usually refers to a hollow, decaying spot in your tooth, etc, and asked the class if anyone had had a cavity. Not one of them had, which I thought was strange. I guess their families are really rich, so they can afford good dental care. Maybe they just didn't know what I was talking about. Either way, I decided to volunteer the information that "I've had one cavity. But just one. I had a cavity 3 years ago."

This was a big mistake, because one of my particularly outspoken students responded with this:

"You got a cavity because you like chocolate. You like candy. You eat lots of chocolate and candy and that's why you are fat..."

It took me a second to process.

Excuse me? I was shocked. It wasn't even that I was sad or angry, just totally and completely shocked. Ok, I was pretty angry. But seriously, who calls his teacher fat to her face??? But it didn't end there.

"...and that's why you don't have a boyfriend."

so not only had my student just called me fat (in front of the entire class, who was laughing), he also told me that the fact that I was fat was the reason why I don't have a boyfriend. He was laughing the whole time he was saying this, so I know that he wasn't really trying to be hurtful... but if I've learned anything from the returning teachers it's that you're not supposed to tell the students anything about your personal life. So...I restrained myself from correcting him and telling him that I do, in fact, have a boyfriend, and that my boyfriend doesn't seem to mind the fact that I am "fat."

If only it ended there. The whole class continued laughing, I started laughing in an awkward, nervous way because I was in a weird place between pissed off and astonishment (one of my vocabulary words this week). I know how ridiculous the entire situation is and that I can't REALLY be offended because in Chinese (and apparently, Korean) culture, weight is not a personal matter. It's something that people talk about in front of each other. In the US, we're taught not to call each other fat (at least not to each others' faces), but here it's a non-issue. I thought about mentioning that this student is, relatively speaking, fatter than I am...but I thought that might cause too much controversy.

So, the class laughed, I made jokes and told them to never, ever call a teacher fat...and students in the back continued to ask me how much I weigh. "65 kilos???" ughhhh really? you're really asking me this?

I changed the Wanted ad that I had drawn on the board to feature this new naughty student's name and moved his seat to the front of the room, but I couldn't really punish him because it's just a cultural difference. The rest of the class period, my students continued to ask about my age (another GREAT topic...although here the issue is that i'm too young. I've already told them my age before but apparently no one remembers that i'm 22 so I'm not about to offer that information up again. I just tell them I'm 55 and smile) and tell me that I need a boyfriend. In fact, when I assigned the homework, one of my best students raised his hand and told me that he knew a nice Korean guy for me, that he would introduce me to some "very kind" Korean guys. Nothing like a 12-year-old matchmaker to make you feel really, really uncomfortable.

6th grade boys are cruel, man.